


What are you doing with your lives?

by Rin_chan32



Series: Sincerely, [2]
Category: Houseki no Kuni
Genre: F/F, F/M, Follows closely along the timeline of Dear, Implied Alexandrite/Chrysoberyl, Other, Unhealthy Relationships, angsty, drunken sex in later chapters, slight spoilers for canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-18 12:31:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18120773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rin_chan32/pseuds/Rin_chan32
Summary: After Padparadscha seemed to disappear off of the face of the earth for months, Rutile resorted to simply remembering their presence in their life. Pictures hanging on a few walls and the engagement ring that they recieved before they disappeared.But, when the other comes back without a heads up to them and a simple explaination for them leaving, they start to regret falling in love with them.





	What are you doing with your lives?

Rutile let out a small sigh as they looked at the body underneath them, their gloved fingers pulling up the mask over their mouth before grabbing the surgery utensils on the tray next to them. Their hazel eyes moved up to look at the doctor across  from them, giving them a look of approval before they moved the scalpel across the others chest. They bit their lip as they watched the blood slowly ease up from the new cut made in the partially clear skin of their patient. 

 

The people into the room with them got to work pretty quickly, but exchanged no words unless they needed the other to do something. The operation on the unconscious patient seemed to go pretty quick, taking out and fixing what they needed to. Usually it took a bit longer during surgeries for Rutile, but nothing was too bad in this persons case and they didn’t have to shut down unnecessary gossip or anything like that. 

 

And as the multi-colored gem started to sew up the wound and be finished, things got complicated for them as they door opened. “Hey, Ruti,” a nurse called from the open doorway, “someone is on the phone asking for you.”

 

“I’m busy, can you ask them to call back later?”

 

“They said that it was urgent.”

 

“You can leave,” the person across from them flashes them a gentle smile, “I can finish this up.”

 

Rutile sighed before they stopped what they were doing and left the room, taking off their blood-covered gloves. They washed their hands before they went to the telephone and put the speaker against their ear. “Hello?”

 

“Ruti, I’m sorry but-“

 

“Yellow?” The doctor asked curiously, their eyebrows furrowing as they crossed their arms in front of their chest. 

 

“Yea, it’s me. Sorry for interrupting you at work, but Pad came back.”

 

“They’re back? What do you mean that they’re back?” Rutile repeated, their body leaning onto the desk behind them as their eyes looked down at the floor. 

 

“They came back. I was about to leave to help Alex and Chryso with some stuff and when I opened the door they were at my doorstep.”

 

“What the hell…” the doctor and the red gem were always extremely close together. They were friends since the beginning of middle school, dated during college, and then both decided to get engaged almost a year ago. Both of them were happy and were ready to take their relationship a step further, but then Pad disappeared. 

 

At first, Rutile thought that something bad happened to them while they were at work. But on closer inspection, it was clear to them that they just packed their things and left. All of the stuff in their shared room was gone— their wallet, phone, brush, clothes, shoes, everything. And to top things off, they never contacted their partner or any of their friends that they talked to. 

 

No calls, letters, emails, late night visits, nothing from the other to let them know that they were okay. No one knew if they were okay or if something bad happened to them while they were out. All of them tried to call them thousands upon thousands of times, but it only went to voicemail and each month that passed without a heads up of their safety made everyone more worried. 

 

And the fact how Padparadscha decided to see Yellow Diamond before anyone else who called them infuriates Rutile. Not because they were jealous of their relationship, but the fact that they didn’t let them— their lover that they cut all ties with— know that they weren’t dead. 

 

“Are they still at your place?”

 

“Yea, they said that they were going to stay here for a while. And I don’t know what’s wrong with them, but they told me not to let you know that they’re back in town.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t know— they said something along the lines of that they’re not ready to see you yet. But I figured that it wasn’t right if you were one of the last people to know that they’re back.”

 

A smart decision on their part. “Alright, I’m going to head over there.” Rutile said, getting ready to leave the spot they’ve been at for the past few minutes. 

 

“Okay, I’ll leave the door unlocked for you.”

 

And with that, the doctor hung up and went to their supervisor, letting them know that they had an emergency to tend to at home. Once they got the okay to leave, they got into their car as immediately headed to Yellows place without a second thought. 

 

Luckily, the elders apartment wasn’t too far away from the hospital, so it was a quick drive to their place. Once they got there and parked their car, they walked to right place and opened the door with a large frown on their face. “Where the fuck have you been!?” They yelled loudly, slapping their previous partner in the face from the bottled emotions they felt. 

 

“Rutile, I-“ they started, their hand holding the place that they were smacked at before looking at their friends sitting on the couch. 

 

“Sorry Pad, you know that I had tell them that you were back in town.” Yellow Diamond muttered with a small frown, getting up from their seat and leaving the living room. 

 

The redhead was quiet before they let out a heavy sight, “listen, I’m sorry-“

 

“You think that a sorry is going to cut it!? You disappeared for months without letting anyone if you were okay and you think that a simply sorry is going to fix everything?”

 

“I don’t know else to say-“

 

“You don’t?” Rutile’s voice shook with both anger and laughter from the others last statement. “What about where the hell you went? Or how about what the fuck were you thinking when you didn’t answer anyone’s messages?”

 

“I didn’t get anything!”

 

“That’s complete bullshit because we called you every fucking day! We tried texting you and calling you and you didn’t even have the audacity to let anyone know that they were okay! I was worried sick about you!!”

 

Padparadscha opened their mouth to probably apologize for the third time, but closed it and sighed. “Listen, I wasn’t thinking right when I left. I… I don’t know what was going in my mind and I should’ve let you guys know that I was okay.”

 

Rutile frowned, biting their tongue so they didn’t raise their voice at them for the umpteenth time since they saw them again. It was understandable though, they could see someone else being in their position being just as upset as they were. “Why did you even leave…? Why did you decide to go without even telling me and then not even let me know that you were okay?”

 

“I… I don’t know-“

 

“Stop saying I don’t know. There’s obviously a reason why you left and you just aren’t telling me shit about anything.”

 

“How do you know if I’m hiding something?”

 

The younger gem in the room scoffed, “Do you really think that I’m that dumb? You took all of your stuff out of my apartment without even telling me anything? And then you proceed to come back and don’t even tell me that you’re here?”

 

“Rutile-“

 

“Do you even care for me?”

 

The doctor’s heart sank as they watched the other opened their mouth to object before sighed and glanced at the ground. They two stood in silence from the uncomfortable situation that they entered, the redhead cleared their throat to get their attention. “I’m sorry, Rutile. It’s not like I don’t care about you, I just can’t find the words at the moment to explain everything to you right now. I really do care for you, I promise, and I’m sorry for walking out not too long after we got engaged. I should’ve been more honest with you before I left so this could all be avoided.”

 

At this point, they didn’t even at the energy to even reply through words, so they just nodded. 

 

“I’m just going to stay here with Yellow since I don’t want to bother you anymore. Plus-“

 

“Don’t bother them anymore than you already have, just come back and stay with me. It’s not like I’m home all the time either.” 

 

The two went into another few seconds of silence before the other nodded, “Alright then. Lemme go get my stuff and I’ll be out in a sec,” they muttered before disappearing into another room. 

 

Rutile didn’t waste another second before leaving their friends apartment, going back to their car and ignoring the unsettled feeling in their body. Disappointment, confusion, anger, sadness— they felt all of it at the same time and they didn’t know how to deal with it. They didn’t want to go home and see the memorabilia of the golden age of their relationship in their room. They’d much rather go to another friends house and get as drunk as they could before passing out. They wanted to forget this day entirely and pretend that they never even met them. 

 

A wave of stupidity came over them as they remembered that they still had the ring they were given months ago. They kept it as a keepsake and also a hope that they were okay and that they were going to come back safely. Now, thinking about the stupid silver ring with a rock shoved in the band made them feel sick. 

 

When Padparadscha came out with their bags and put them in the back seat, the both of them were silent. No apologies, about how days went, the weather, no audible words slipped passed their lips and it was killing them. Rutile had never felt more relieved when they pulled up to their driveway and pulled their key out of the vehicle.

 

Like leaving Yellows house, they didn’t wait for the other to get their stuff and follow them inside. Instead of waiting on the porch, they went into their room and started to take out everything that was put away neatly. They made multiple trips to the living room, emptying out of the clothing they had in drawers and closets. “Stay in my room, I don’t want to be in there anymore.” They replied when the other came in with their hands full of their stuff. 

 

Padparadscha simply nodded before they went into the others room with all of their belongings and closed the door. With being alone in the living room with just them and their stuff, the doctor let themselves decompose and let the tears start to roll down they’re cheeks. Rutile laid down on the couch and cried into a pillow, hating themselves for even falling in love with them. 


End file.
